Tuesday, March 8, 2016

My Year of Pregnancy

Hello Again!

Nine months ago, I wrote a post the day before my planned c-section. Today, my beautiful baby is taking a blissfully long nap, so I thought this would be a good time to reconnect with you.

I'd like to start by talking in very real terms about my journey to motherhood. This may be a bad idea. I am currently looking for work, and the statistics on hiring chances and wage disparity for mothers in the USA are not good. But I have decided to take an optimistic approach.  So if you're reading this because you are considering hiring me: Hi. This is the real me. I hope you still want to work together.


Ok. Now that's out of the way, let's jump into the past. [TRIGGER WARNING: This is not all happy.]

Way back in the spring of 2007, my now husband and I went grocery shopping together for our third "date". In the bus shelter on the way home, surrounded by plastic bags of food, we talked about having kids. I was excited to learn that we were both very much in favor of the idea! For the next seven years we pined for children, but felt we were not able to provide proper financial support to a dependent. Sometime in early 2014, that changed. After lots of deep soul-searching I decided two things: I no longer wanted to work in office administration, and I wanted to be a mom. Being rather typical millennials, we were (and are) still not super financially secure; but it was time. Again, my husband agreed.

We did not have to try for long before those two joyful pink lines appeared on a home test. We called the precious zygote "Sugar-Pea". After a 7-week confirmation ultrasound, blood tests to check hormone levels, and 10 weeks of pseudo-secrecy, we shared our good news with our extended families. In the very early morning 3 days later, I went to the emergency room hemorrhaging blood. They operated that day: a D&C. It took a little over a month for my body to recover from the blood-loss. For both me and my husband, it was the worst day of our lives so far.

The announcement photo we never sent out
I mourned by hiding the baby things away, and doing research. Depending on who you ask, something like 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage. It's hard to pin a number down, because most of these end before the woman even knows she was pregnant, or very soon after. The chances of two miscarriages in a row are much lower, and if you conceive again in the first 6 months after a miscarriage they are lower still. With that in mind, we set out to try again as soon as my body was healed. I don't know how ready we really were mentally and emotionally, but we are apparently fertile people. Just a month and a half after Sugar Pea left us, our "Pototo" took root inside me.

Haakon (pronounced HAWK-un) was born on the day the doctor chose for him. To my deep sadness, he was taken to the NICU before I even had a chance to see his face. He was breathing too quickly; a common issue for c-section babies. I met him as soon as I could, and held him later that day. His papa stayed with him almost every waking minute while he was under intensive care.

Right now, he's a very big and healthy boy. And he's still sleeping! Lately, Haakon hasn't been taking long naps like this often. Maybe he's working on his 5th tooth. I love to watch his belly move with his breath knowing that he is safe and peaceful; probably dreaming about yesterday's trip to the park. It was our third visit ever. He's still not sure what to make of the swing, but thinks the slide is great! His favorite thing to do was watching the bigger kids play.

I look forward to sharing more of our adventures with you. It's been a difficult two years, but I would gladly do it all again for my smiley little man. I'll leave you with a happy little song he likes to "sing" with me:

Thanks for reading. Hope to see you again soon!


  1. Your story is beautiful in every way possible. Why? because it is emotional, inspiring, and full of love.Your story has made you into a wonderful person, and that's what makes it perfect.